5 Ways I Knew I Needed Healing
Hi Beautiful,
We go through things in childhood we may not even understand.
There comes realisation through life that brings up trauma, triggers and pain. Healing is the journey of connecting the dots and aligning them with God to survive. I learned, that without a solid foundation in Christ - I would not be here. I needed to learn to focus on God and His love.
I was broken, hurt, needed love and just had no clue about loving myself. There is a lot to undo and after going through so much I needed to change, I needed love and I needed healing.
How did I know I needed healing?
My go-to emotion was anger
As a child and young person, my mother after disciplining did not teach me how to handle my emotions and feelings.
I was very upset in the way that she treated me and my only outlet was to turn my emotions onto others. I would be quick-tempered shout, cry, scream, get into physical fights at school and so on. All to come home and act like nothing was wrong.
Every time I was hit with an issue or dislike or upset my emotion was rage.
I referenced my trauma to most things
I could not stop talking about my mother and what she did, didn't do or said or didn't say.
No matter where I started in a convo it would end up with her. The trauma was so deep in the brain and sub-conscience only knew one way, one coping mechanism.
It was a way of me coping by spewing out things to people for a little bit of comfort.
There were a lot of triggers
Now I know if I have a trigger, I can immediately tackle it with journaling, prayer and talking to someone.
The joy now of acting responsibly and acknowledging my actions and words heals me even more. Before the healing process, I would have triggers that would cause me to shut down and the internal thoughts would run a mile in my heart.
I was deeply hurt.
My mental health was being tested
Hurt and pain can do a lot to the mind and body.
Praying and focusing on God helped me release the stress and understand I was worth more. I started to know what deep love was from God's word. The negative thoughts were slowly reducing and I believed "I could". Happiness was more than sadness.
I was able to appreciate all that was around me
I had enough of the pain
One day I just had enough (okay make that two different days). First was at 18 when I no longer wanted to be shy and timid. I was starting to stand up for myself. Then all the above was happening and I made a new decision at 30 to start my healing and break off all the family and generational curses.
I love who I have become and becoming in Christ. I am a Godly woman worthy of many great things.
Your past can only hold you hostage, if you let it.
Keep praying for God's peace over your situation. Take it one step at a time.
Be Beautiful and Choose Happiness x
